As Long As You Want
by NightChild01
Summary: YAOI! /Hurts…oh it hurts so much. I can’t stand it…it feels like my heart’s being ripped from my chest, very slowly at that, I might add.\ /"...You can stay as long as you want to.” \ 1x2 followed by 1xR eventual 2x4


As Long As You Want

By: NightChild

***

            Hurts…oh it hurts so much. I can't stand it…it feels like my heart's being ripped from my chest, very slowly at that, I might add. How could he do this to me? How could he do this when he told me he loved me? How could he…?

            I remember back and…wish that I had never wandered across the hall that day. I wish that I hadn't wondered what those _odd_ sounds were, though I had an idea what they could be. I wish that I hadn't opened the door to the room. I wish that I hadn't seen him…her…doing….

            I don't really remember how I got back to my room…or how I got to the park later. I'm not even sure that I really ended up at the park, I half-think it might be an illusion from my mind that's influenced by my shattered heart. I glance up at the sky…it looks bleak, dull, even the stars don't seem anything but…well…I'm not sure…they just don't seem _real_. Everything becomes blurry…and I realize that tears are blocking my vision. I bring my pale, shaking hand to my face and wipe the tears angrily from my eyes, not letting them fall. Boys don't cry; that's what I have to tell myself.

            How could this all go so wrong? How could my beautiful world come crashing down like this? I don't understand…. The only thing that I understand is that constricted feeling in my chest, like my heart's too big for it, or like I can't breathe.

            I shiver in the cold night air. I hadn't even bothered to grab a jacket, apparently. He'd call me "baka" over this; I know it. That thought brings more tears to my eyes and I wipe them away, this time feebly. I gaze around me and notice that I've never been to this park before…I think this might be a problem. I smirk at the universe. This is another thing that he'd…. I stop that thought before it can go any farther, I don't want to think about him. If I do, then I won't be able to stop the tears that'll come to my eyes, fall down my cheeks and onto my knees--which I had pulled up to my chest some time ago, I don't remember when.

            I sniff pathetically as I finally loose the battle with my tears. "How could Heero do this to me?" I whisper out into the chilled night air with another sniff. I thought that he actually meant it when he said that he loved me…but I guess I was wrong. A tear falls burning a salty trail down my face and lands on my knee. I burry my head in my hands and sob, not caring if anyone sees me…just plain not caring.

            A warm hand on my shoulder makes my head snap up and I'm met with concerned aqua eyes. "Duo…?"

            I stare at him dumbfounded. I don't know how he found me. So I decide to ask…I just hope my voice doesn't shake too much. "H-How…" I clear my throat, "How did you…find me…?" another tear rolls down my face, damn that betraying tear. To cover up that little traitor I flashed "The Maxwell Grin"…but I have a feeling that it was a lot less convincing that usual.

            He smiles one of his kind smiles. "That doesn't matter, we need to get you inside…it's too cold for you to be sitting outside like this without a jacket." He offers me his hand to help myself up.

            Good ol' Quatre, always so worried about everyone. I take his hand and pull myself shakily to my feet, but cover my suppressed silent, shake inducing sobs with… "Yeah, it really is cold out here." I hope he bought that line.

            "Come on…let's go." Nope, he didn't buy it, I can tell by his tone. But, he won't mention anything about it…that's just the way he is.

            I nod and wait for him to start walking off. He does something I didn't expect at all, he takes my hand in his and leads me down the street into the chilly night. There's something about his hand that's different than Heero's…Quatre's hand seems more…warm, more caring. But then again, it could feel like that 'cause my hands are so damned cold that probably ice would feel warm.

            Once we got to Quatre's place--if you can really call one of his mansions as a "place"--he insisted that I sit by the fire in one of the over-sized chairs that makes me look like a little kid for a half-hour and drink some of that tea that he likes so much, I have to admit, the tea's not so bad. Currently, I'm still sitting by the fire with Quatre sitting across from me in another of those over-sized chairs and sipping a cup of tea of his own.

            His voices brakes through the comfortable silence, "What happened, Duo? Why were you sitting at the park…?"

            Ah, the inevitable _questions_…how fun…. I sigh, fighting off a fresh batch of tears and begin, "H…Heero…he-he and Relena…" I gulp, pushing myself to go on, "They…they were…they were…." I cut myself off with a broken sob as the images flood back into my mind, that feeling coming back to my chest as the preverbal dam brakes and my tears fall, again.

            Quatre's by my side so fast that, if I had been paying attention, I probably wouldn't have seen him move. He puts his arms around my shaking shoulders tentatively and holds me. "Oh Duo…shhh…calm down…it'll be alright, I'll be there for you." He continues to murmur reassurances to me over and over, until I finally stop sobbing. I sniff slightly, bleating myself silently for being weak and crying. "You…you can stay here, if you want."

            I raise my head and look at him. Is he…nervous? "A-Are you sure?" that's all I could manage, and it was weak to boot…damned traitorous tears.

            He nods and smiles that smile of his, "Yes, of course I am. You can stay as long as you want to." And that's what I did; I stayed with him for many, many years.

***

            Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing…do I really look that lucky to you?

            AN: It's amazing what my mind comes up with, isn't it? Anyway, this is for Ryl-chan (Emilie Grant), Nikki-chan (xelmus), Bethie-chan, Kell-chan (Demonic Little Sister--she's really my sister, but, hey) and Holly-chan (Berrful Hunter) for being wonderful friends and helping me though a really tough time. I love you all.

            Be lovely and review…please?

NightChild


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